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Infertility! Have sex with the motive of fun

Infertility? Rekindle intimacy by shifting the focus from conception to connection

admin by admin
August 5, 2025
in Health, Opinion
0
Infertility
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It is the desire of many people in their reproductive age to have children of their own by natural means. However, some are faced with difficulties in getting pregnant.

After interacting with a few women in that situation, out of ten women, five did not know what ovulation is, three of them had knowledge about it; however, they didn’t know when they were ovulating, two of them had knowledge and knew when they were ovulating.

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Further questions revealed that their main purpose for having sex is to get pregnant. Psychologically, this doesn’t help the process of conceiving. I started managing three of them with natural remedies (having sex with the motive of fun). After a series of medical and gynaecological investigations, the results proved that these patients were medically and gynecologically fit.

These three women have been trying to get pregnant for five years. I took them through their menstrual cycle, educated them on the signs of ovulation, emphasised having sex for pleasure and enjoying the moment together, not focusing on pregnancy. To the glory of God, they conceived.

Most causes are known, and others are unknown. This is a gynaecological problem affecting quite a few women.

Understanding Infertility

Infertility is the inability to conceive after one year of regular unprotected sexual intercourse for women under 35 and a period of six months for women over 35.

Based on the outcome of sex education, I mostly share with couples and my experience. REGULAR unprotected sex is when you have sex 3-4times in a week.

The unplanned intercourse does magic sometimes.

In most cases, women are blamed for the issue of infertility, but the truth is that some of the causes of infertility are from the men.

Due to these reasons, some women go to various hospitals, drink prescribed and unprescribed medications, not excluding spiritual interventions and all sorts of concoctions, just to conceive, which really affects them physically and psychologically.

Some causes of infertility (in females) include

  1. Irregular menstrual cycle
  2. Damage or blockage to the fallopian tubes
  3. Endometriosis
  4. Hormonal imbalance
  5. Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome
  6. Uterine issues such as fibroids and other structural abnormalities
  7. Quality and quantity of eggs
  8. Some medical conditions, e.g. diabetes

Some causes (in males)

  1. Low sperm count
  2. Abnormal Sperm motility or movement
  3. Hormonal imbalance
  4. Abnormal structure of the sperm
  5. The absence of sperm in the ejaculate (Azoospermia)
  6. ⁠Erectile dysfunction

These causes are the results of medical conditions, e.g. diabetes, Infections, e.g.  STIs, mumps, among others; use of illicit drugs such as heroin, cocaine, smoking

Types of infertility

  1. Primary Infertility: This is when a woman has never been pregnant despite regular sexual intercourse
  2. Secondary infertility: This is when you can’t get pregnant after one successful pregnancy.
  3. Unexplained Infertility: This is when medical or obstetrical investigations give no reason for a woman not getting pregnant.

Shared responsibility

In our communities, we hardly point fingers at males regarding infertility; the women usually carry the cross. What is unknown is that a man can ejaculate, but not all can grab an egg and fertilise. Interestingly, some do not even have an erection. To ensure a concrete diagnosis of infertility, a series of lab investigations is carried out on both the man and the woman.

Infertility

 

This is the point where most men refuse to come to the hospital for lab investigations and examination, until an investigation is done on the woman, which shows that she is fine to conceive, even with that, some men will not show up for medical investigation.

We find ourselves in a society where women are expected to conceive right after marriage, not considering the plans of the couple. If this fails within some months, the questions, gossip, and pressure from family and friends alone affect the couple psychologically, and their aim for having sex is solely PREGNANCY, which doesn’t help the process.

I encourage young women not to ignore some menstrual abnormalities or reproductive issues, but rather seek help even when they are not ready for kids.  Men, kindly support your spouse and be ready to go through the necessary medical examination required during the treatment process.

By Recheal Hesse Matey

The writer is the 2023 Best Practising Midwife GAR.

Outstanding Midwife for the Neonatal Resuscitation Team, GARH-Ridge 2024.

GARH-Ridge Hospital

Obstetrical & Gynaecology Department.

hesseracheal16@gmail.com

TikTok – @ midwiferacheal

Facebook – Racheal Hesse Matey

Post Views: 341
Tags: Infertility
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